One of life's questions

Note: Once again I am going to bore you to death
with historical filler before I actually get to the point.

I live in a suburb of Jackson, Mississippi. I work in Jackson. About (or should I say “pert near”?) 15-20 years ago, Jackson got some gentlemen’s clubs. We actually called them "strip clubs" when I was younger. Anyway, since Jackson is considered by most residents to be a very religious community, the whole strip club issue has been in contention ever since.

The problem was that no one ever thought it might happen, so the city wasn’t ready for it. There were no rules in place, so anyone that wanted could open up a club and have nekkid chicks dancin’ on tables! That brought about a flurry of reactive legislative moves.

The first step was zoning. Henceforth, no strip clubs could open within x feet of a school or church, and eventually could only be opened in business and light industrial areas. There are actually 3 or 4 clubs within 2 blocks of my office. Woohoo!

The second step was modesty. Henceforth, no chicks could be completely nekkid. Pasties and G-strings must be worn at all times, and no physical contact could occur between “dancer” and patron.

I myself have never been to one of the Jackson strip clubs. I have a soft heart (sometimes) and I usually feel really sorry for the poor trashy girls that never got an education and have to strip to make a living. And since Jackson is Jackson, the local talent pool is not that big. The majority of girls here are conservative enough to feel that stripping is either morally wrong or at least degrading to women. So while each of the several clubs might have some “hot talent” come in from some of the Memphis clubs occasionally, there is always the chance that you will be watching some (please excuse me) dried up skank take off her clothes. Ewwww! (Before I weather a storm of back-lash, I’m not making any insinuations about age. I am leaning more towards the issue of mileage!) And another reason I have never been to any local clubs is that I have this fear of seeing someone I know up on stage. I don’t think anyone I know is a stripper here, but it would kill me to see some girl I had a crush on in the ninth grade floozy-ing it up with a pole. Besides, on occasion when I take my car to the shop, I usually walk the 2 miles after work to go pick it up. The walk takes me through one of the strip-club parking lots. It’s usually at the 5 o’clock shift change. I recommend night classes. Lots of them.

(Steering slowly towards the point here…)

So the new mayor of Jackson has been on a tear this year. He shut down one club when he and officers showed up one night and found one dancer “really nood” and another couple having sex. He’s shut down 3 clubs so far for violations. He has actually said on the news that “Jackson is a religious community” and that the clubs “are degrading to women”, and he wants the clubs outta here. (This is the same guy who puts on a bulletproof vest and sidearm and goes on drug raids with the cops. I like him.)

(The point, finally.)

So last night another club got shut down. This one is actually one block behind my office. Good neon on it, too. I was watching the video this morning of them hauling 2 dancers out in handcuffs. They were arrested for breaking the naked ordinance. They were making a big show of hiding their faces from the camera. To me the question is – if you have the confidence to take your clothes off in public and in front of strangers, why do you need to shield your face from a camera while you are being placed in a cop car? Which is the part that embarrasses them?

Okay, so it sounded better at 5:30 this AM…