The new secret weapon.

Okay, not a good blog today, but there's some pressure to produce, now!!!

So I don't know what my problem is, but I have a couple of really screwed up pet peeves. One is coffee. The other is driving. Vague? Yes. Don't worry... I'll explain. (Oh thank you!)

The coffee pot at work is a metaphor for America. It holds so much promise, and yet is taken for granted by so many. God damn! I'm a genius!

Anyway, I get to work in the morning and make a pot. I drink a cup. I go back for more and there's about 1/4" of rancid tar in the bottom of the pot where some asshole decided his (or her) time was way too fucking important to hook some up for the next guy (or girl). I think that rude assholes should be gut-shot on the steps of the courthouse and then spat upon. I'm pretty sure that anyone that would be so rude is probably the same guy that has to strangle a puppy just to get an erection. Sorry - I had to surpress a laugh on that one...

Driving? Well... It would take much longer than either one of us have for me to go over all the things that piss me off on the road. But suffice it to say that if you are reading this, you are literate and probably have at least some education, ergo you are probably pissed off by the same things that piss me off. No turn signals, changing lanes and then hitting the brakes, teenage girls, makeup artists... The list is huge.

Now, after all that digression, maybe I can get to the point. (Did I just hear a thank you?) While never having been a trendy type guy, I did just buy a new RAZR. My old phone (without a color screen or camera or internet capability) finally gave up the ghost. Well, I just learned that a camera in a phone can do two things for me.

First, when some fucker pulls some shit in a car and draws my ire, I have found that merely taking a picture of either the stupid act, or the car tag, or the fucker that is driving has effect of calming me instantly. When I do this, I am always thinking how great this photo will look on my blog. Along with an explanation of their deed. And hopefully maybe even an address if they can keep from ditching me before they get home.

I have now learned (after a couple of weeks and about 5 or 6 pictures) that when someone realizes what you have done, you are bound to get some good reactions. I had one guy try to get me to pull over to the shoulder. I guess he wanted to kick my ass and take my phone. Another flipped me off. Unfortunately I wasn't ready with the camera. One lady who pulled in front of me in a slot just big enough for her car without using her signal got a tag and facial - which was witnessed by her young son (unencumbered by his seat belt, I might add) who then started to cry to mommy causing her to speed up to get away from me. Like that would drag the photons with her, or something?

Anyway, I am really impressed at how that simple act can have such a lasting impression. I'm sure that one day I will get shot, but I'm having way too much funto worry about that. Maybe oneday I will also have a show of all my latest work.

I would also like to add that in the space between the 2 previous paragraphs, I went to the breakroom to get a cup of coffee. There was indeed a quarter inch of coffee sitting on the burner. But this time I saw the fucker that did it. He is so fat that he can't walk up a flight of stairs without stopping and collecting himself. (I can mock him because I lost 90 lbs.) He also thinks that women should make coffee and bring it to him. (I'm not making this up!) His supervisor (a woman) told me this. I'd love to read his review!

Well, I don't know if I will be posting any more before next year as I am taking the first vacation I have had in four years. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy (and safe) New Year. And if you pull in front of me or drink all the coffee, go fuck yourself!

Peace!