Monday, February 27, 2006

A surprise post

Yes, I didn’t think I would be able to squeeze another out before leaving, but such is life.

So on Saturday, my USM alumnus significant other went to Hattiesburg to view the USM production of West Side Story. Overall, I think the students did an excellent job. I have never seen a stage version, and of course I can’t help but look for Natalie Wood and Rita Moreno, but I had a great time. The USM orchestra performed really well, and all-in-all I give it high marks all around! Well, I did get bothered by the extra-thick Latina accents… Although the Rita Moreno girl pulled hers off convincingly so. Perhaps it was the tan? And the smile? The Natalie Wood girl was a little, ummm… white-bread? But she’s got some damn pipes and can sing!!! The George Chakiris guy was a little thick as well. Probably the best fit was the Russ Tamblyn guy. But they all did very well.

I also noticed that the lyrics to “I’m so pretty” have changed. No longer do they say “I’m so pretty, and witty, and gay!” I can’t remember what she actually sang, but it wasn’t gay. IS this a political correctness move? Not that it matters. I’m just curious.

But 2 things also came to mind during the song. The first was Hillbilly Mom. The other thing that came to mind during that song (and I really don’t know where this came from) is that I pictured the scene in Silence of the Lambs where Buffalo Bill is dancing around in the girlsuit in front of his video camera. I think he should have been singing “I’m so pretty”.

Off to the wilds of Jersey, I am. Actually, I'll be about 10 minutes from Asbury Park. I'll tell Bruce you said "hi".

Friday, February 24, 2006

What a day it has been

If this were a picture from work, I'm not quite sure which one would be me. I'm positive the guy with the armband was, at one time, the boss around here. I'm pretty sure I'm the guy in the door. But I'm not sure if I'm pissed or just freaking out.

This has indeed been a week. And I get to go to New Jersey next week. Woohoo. So I doubt I'll be blogging any. But dry your eyes - I'll return. If not, I'll probably be rotting in some mob landfill.

Peace, y'all!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

One of life's questions

Note: Once again I am going to bore you to death
with historical filler before I actually get to the point.

I live in a suburb of Jackson, Mississippi. I work in Jackson. About (or should I say “pert near”?) 15-20 years ago, Jackson got some gentlemen’s clubs. We actually called them "strip clubs" when I was younger. Anyway, since Jackson is considered by most residents to be a very religious community, the whole strip club issue has been in contention ever since.

The problem was that no one ever thought it might happen, so the city wasn’t ready for it. There were no rules in place, so anyone that wanted could open up a club and have nekkid chicks dancin’ on tables! That brought about a flurry of reactive legislative moves.

The first step was zoning. Henceforth, no strip clubs could open within x feet of a school or church, and eventually could only be opened in business and light industrial areas. There are actually 3 or 4 clubs within 2 blocks of my office. Woohoo!

The second step was modesty. Henceforth, no chicks could be completely nekkid. Pasties and G-strings must be worn at all times, and no physical contact could occur between “dancer” and patron.

I myself have never been to one of the Jackson strip clubs. I have a soft heart (sometimes) and I usually feel really sorry for the poor trashy girls that never got an education and have to strip to make a living. And since Jackson is Jackson, the local talent pool is not that big. The majority of girls here are conservative enough to feel that stripping is either morally wrong or at least degrading to women. So while each of the several clubs might have some “hot talent” come in from some of the Memphis clubs occasionally, there is always the chance that you will be watching some (please excuse me) dried up skank take off her clothes. Ewwww! (Before I weather a storm of back-lash, I’m not making any insinuations about age. I am leaning more towards the issue of mileage!) And another reason I have never been to any local clubs is that I have this fear of seeing someone I know up on stage. I don’t think anyone I know is a stripper here, but it would kill me to see some girl I had a crush on in the ninth grade floozy-ing it up with a pole. Besides, on occasion when I take my car to the shop, I usually walk the 2 miles after work to go pick it up. The walk takes me through one of the strip-club parking lots. It’s usually at the 5 o’clock shift change. I recommend night classes. Lots of them.

(Steering slowly towards the point here…)

So the new mayor of Jackson has been on a tear this year. He shut down one club when he and officers showed up one night and found one dancer “really nood” and another couple having sex. He’s shut down 3 clubs so far for violations. He has actually said on the news that “Jackson is a religious community” and that the clubs “are degrading to women”, and he wants the clubs outta here. (This is the same guy who puts on a bulletproof vest and sidearm and goes on drug raids with the cops. I like him.)

(The point, finally.)

So last night another club got shut down. This one is actually one block behind my office. Good neon on it, too. I was watching the video this morning of them hauling 2 dancers out in handcuffs. They were arrested for breaking the naked ordinance. They were making a big show of hiding their faces from the camera. To me the question is – if you have the confidence to take your clothes off in public and in front of strangers, why do you need to shield your face from a camera while you are being placed in a cop car? Which is the part that embarrasses them?

Okay, so it sounded better at 5:30 this AM…

Monday, February 20, 2006

Cartoon Protests

Okay – is anyone else as tired as I am of hearing about people killing each other over a damn cartoon?

Yes – it was insensitive of that guy to draw it.

Yes – the papers shouldn’t have published it.

Yes – the Italian guy shouldn’t have put it on a t-shirt.

(Okay – I’m lying! Being the “exacerbator” that I am, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when I first heard what he had done. Kudos to the Italian guy!)

But unless you are an idiot or have been in a cave for the last 20 years, you should know that a large majority of Muslims tend to overreact just a wee bit in situations like this, at least as seen through the lens of the non-Muslim world. When messing with an extremist religious group, there is always a price to be paid. I am somewhat surprised that some guy wearing a C4 t-shirt has not made himself wallpaper in the offices of the Danish newspaper that first printed it.

Of course everyone around here at work keeps talking about how stupid the Muslims are and how they are just trying to stifle free speech. So in fairness (because I am a Libra) I have to point out to them that the Muslims are actually practicing free speech by killing people. It’s what they do!

My argument is also usually met with silence. Especially when I point out that this whole thing reminds me a whole lot like the John Lennon “the Beatles are more popular than Jesus” fiasco. (In case you aren’t up on your history, John Lennon commented in a 1966 interview that Christianity was dying and that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. And if you aren’t up on your history, shame on you!) After his comment, religious groups around the world protested and started burning Beatles records in public in cities and towns across America and Beatles songs were banned from radio stations everywhere. Granted, no one was killed, but the KKK did make death threats against the mop-tops. And we all know that they are good at killing people. They are also an extremist religious group.

Hmmmm… I wonder what the Muslim counterpart to “Prussian Blue” would be?

Friday, February 03, 2006

Okay, so I suck lately!

Yes, I've been post-less here for a while. I suck. Sue me. Just like the guy that bought the iPod and turned it up enough to damage his ears so he is now suing Apple. What an asshole!

Speaking of assholes, we've got a couple of good ones here. Actually, there are three. They just haven't told me the third name yet.

So the MS Bureau of Narcotics go bust a hotel where a guy and his "moll" are selling crack. Michael Liddell (45) and Elizabeth Crawford (31). Liddell is charged with the sale of crack cocaine and Crawford is charged with conspiracy. They were at the Quality Inn Hotel on County Line Road in Ridgeland, just north of Jackson. But the kicker is that the room is a FEMA-paid room. Investigators say the suspects were actually renting the room from someone else "claiming" to be a New Orleans evacuee. They paid 40 dollars a week to the "evacuee" to stay in the room. Police believe the so called evacuee may have several FEMA rooms in the area. Now the case is being handed over to the FBI for possible FEMA fraud. Duh!

So does that mean that once they catch the "evacuee", will he be charged for fraud and selling crack as well? I think that would be just grand!

Well, I have no excuses for my lack of new blogs lately, so you'll just have to trust me when I say I will try and do better. Once I figure out how to get the heroin out of my new puppy, that is... (Colombian fuckers!)