Friday, March 31, 2006

Gap assholes?

My real function in life is being an I/T guy. But for all my ability to masquerade as a d.b.a. or write zillions of lines of code, I am really pretty lame when it comes to being internet savvy. Yep – I have no idea why I shouldn’t be on Blogger or why I should use Firefox. I am super impressed by the knowledge of the bloggers I read daily. They know shit. Impressive shit.

When I first started in what would eventually be my career (long before Al Gore invented the Internet), I was known as a geeky guy. I could program modems, do anything in Unix, knew several languages and had no problems doing low-level formats and rebuilding PCs. The advent of “plug and play” technology made me lazy. Now I have to go ask a 25 year old kid how to use VPN. It’s sad. And I don’t have high-speed at home. I still use a dial-up – although I no longer use my dial-up because some pr()n site dropped a freaking bothersome pop-up on my home PC, and my SpyBot can’t find it (although it did manage to kill my analog video input) and it takes way too long to update my definition files.

So as far as blogging goes, I am a mere babe in the woods. My technological zenith seems to be Statcounter. That being said, I really enjoy keyword activity.

gap assholes. Do we mean asshole clerks at The Gap? Or were we looking for gaping rectums filled with man goo?

gap her ass latina. This was from Kuwait. This almost has to be from some lonely G.I. posted over there. Tired of viewing women in hijabs?

sweet potato girls of jackson Mississippi. Is that you, deadpanann?

i'm so pretty lyrics. This has to be from Hillbilly Mom. Perhaps not finding what she was looking for, she then tried lyrics to i'm so pretty in west side story?

rita moreno stripper. This was from the U.K. I mean as long as we’re talking about West Side Story. Although I remember Rita Moreno from PBS’ “The Electric Company” (along with Morgan Freeman, I might add!) But Rita, while still hot (I'm sure), is kind of old to be stripping. Perhaps this person was looking for something to remove the previously applied "Rita Moreno Varnish"?

shaun and christina dillard. My favorite assholes. I hope whoever did this search found the pictures of those to crackhead-shithole-scumbag-motherfuckers!

ashley andrews picayune. The 12 year old victim of the aforementioned cocksuckers Shaun and Christina Dillard.

mississippi strip club shut down. Sounds like a Flatt and Scruggs song. Ahem... Well, I thought it was a funny joke!

amputee. From Norway. Sing it, Tom Petty style! “Now baby you don’t… have… to search for an amputee (don’t have to search for an amputee)”

I'm going to hell, I'm sure!


At 31/3/06 23:24, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Not me! I know I'm OH SO PRETTY. The crazy woman in Save-A-Lot told me!

I don't have to search for you. I slip in through the back door from DPA's outpost in the backwoods of the fine state of Mississippi.

At 3/8/08 21:26, Anonymous Kathleen Andrews said...

I am Ashley's grandmother.Thank you for caring,I wasn't sure anyone remembered her.The truth of what Ashley endured is too horrid to print.Most of my nights are spent crying because I could do nothing to save her.She was taken from me when she was seven and only rarely allowed to call me.I never knew where she was.

At 23/9/08 16:41, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've met both of them and I see that they show no remorse and from what I've seen in the local newspapers, he didn't get charged for what he should have.


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