Ahem... Kettle? You are indeed so black like me!

I can't believe that the first 11 sentences in my previous post all end with exlamation points! See!!! I can't stop! Well, I will try to do better, since I also rant about good grammar all the time. And empty coffee pots. And fuckers.

So it's January 4th now. Wal Mart has already filled the aisles with Valentine's day stuff. Then on Feb 15th, we'll have the Easter Tree decorations out.

Where I live, Easter is decorated seriously. Lots of crosses. I live in a subdivision called Crossgates. I always thought it had something to do with intersecting roads. Now I wonder. On the other side of Brandon (where I live) is a subdivision that touts itself as a Christian subdivision. At the entrance to the subdivision is a big marble-ish cross laying on it's side. I think it would be creepy living there. I imagine Stepford.

On the other side of my subdivision is a neighborhood that was built after mine. It is called "The Commons". A commons is a green, pastoral, park-like area shared by a community. But the builders apparently didn't pay attention in grammar class. For several years the big wooden sign out from said "The Common's". I took it to mean that everyone that lived in the subdivision was a peasant. People didn't understand why I called it "The Proletariat" or sometimes "Le Bourgeoisie". I guess they thought I couldn't read. So about 4 years ago, someone got hip. Maybe one of the neighborhood children noticed after a heady day in the classroom. Anyway, they decided that a change should be made. And in true lazy redneck fashion, someone just got a little dab obrown paint and painted over the apostrophe. So now the sign reads "The Common s" with a darker spot of brown betwixt the "n" and "s". It sounds like a bar. Which we can't have in our county. Or liquor stores. Because people think that when you open up liquor stores and bars, you will get strip clubs. In fact, restaurants can only serve beer. How bourgeois!

Anyway, Easter is decorated with a seriousness akin to Christmas. Which is my segue into my last decoration update. If you have read some of my previous posts, you no doubt read about "penitent Santa", "new penitent Santa" and "upgraded penitent Santa". "Penitent Santa" (or "original penitent Santa") never showed up. In fact, no decorations at all went up at this house. "New penitent Santa", the identical twin of "original penitent Santa", will probably become "default penitent Santa" next year, if "original" skips a second year. Maybe there was an illness in the family? Who knows? "Upgraded penitent Santa", if you remember, was just like OPS and NPS except it bore the legend "EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW" with the postscript "Romans 14:11". But the morning I was leaving on vacation and driving to my girlfriend's apartment, I found yet another "penitent Santa". This one was just like "upgraded penitent Santa", but where UPS had a pink background for the text, "counterfeit upgraded penitent Santa" (as this one shall be known) boasted a baby blue background, and no postscripted bible verse. Now, in fairness, it could actually be "beta-version upgraded penitent Santa" instead of "counterfeit upgraded penitent Santa". It is located not far from the font of "upgraded penitent Santas", as well as elves, angels, etc... This yard bore the questionable device "Art for sale", leading me to assume that not only were these hideous pop-ups considered by at least one person to be "art", but that this was the well from which they all sprung. So, "counterfeit upgraded penitent Santa" could in all fairness really be "beta-version upgraded penitent Santa", and created before the artisan realized that "EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW" was plagiarized text and that the reference should be included. Or someone could have just made their own. I will do my best to keep the controversy to a minimum.

I can't wait to see his/her Easter "art".